A Funny Thing Happened On My Way to the Hunt
by Verthril
Summary: Hot on a case, the Winchester Boys run into problems a plenty, right down to a certain repentant vampire.
1. Chapter 1

Marvel owns the X-men, Supernatural was created by Eric Kripke, no profit is to be made from this work.

The town had one of those names borrowed from some exotic local, founded back when there were still likely men alive that remembered seeing a founding father when they were still young enough to sit on their pappy's knee. Rolling down the main drag, the only thing they had on their mind was a long hot shower and a meal that didn't come with someone asking if you wanted to pay a few cents more for a bladder buster.

"No vacancy, no vacancy, what the hell is wrong with this town." Dean growled as he threw his hands against the wheel in frustration.

"There's one." Sam said pointing off to a manor with it's neon sign still lit.

"Sam..." Dean asked, leveling a look on his brother looking in sheer disbelief.

"Yeah Dean?" Sam inquired with a look up from his laptop.

"That's a bed and breakfast..." Dean grumbled.

"And?" Sam asked, wondering what the problem was.

"I can't believe I'm doing this..." Dean muttered, a sharp turn taken at the last moment to pull the Impala on into the lot.

Walking up with an overnight bag and a sudden desire for a stiff drink, Dean rapped at the door and waited until it opened. A matronly woman stood there looking him over, a smile on her lips that left him squirming under her gaze.

"Did you have a reservation dear?" The lady kindly asked.

"Uh..no, no reservation. Everywhere else was booked up, my brother and I were hoping we could get a room." Dean asked, emphasis on his fraternal relationship to Sam.

"Ain't that sweet, sure thing darling. Come right on in, we still have a few left, getting a lot of business after all the motels booked up. Oh, I'm Agnes." Agnes said so pleasantly as she lead Dean in on to a small office littered with tea cozies and so much embroidery on the walls he couldn't see the paint.

"Uh, yeah...what's up with thaa...aaouch!" Dean asked sitting down only to leap back up with a yelp.

"Sorry dear, I was wondering where that got off to." Agnes said sounding pleased as Dean pulled a large sewing needle from his behind.

"Sure." Dean replied, struggling to keep smiling as handed it off.

"Oh...I'm sorry, we only have singles left. I could dig out an air mattress if you'd like." Agnes said sweetly.

"Oh, I'd be much obliged." Dean smiled honestly, ready to claim dibs on the real bed.

"Alrighty then, cash or credit?" Smiling, she held her hand out with some paperwork.

"Credit, here you go, thank you." Dean said quickly filling out the information and taking the key.

Walking out with a spring in his step and a grin on his face, Dean climbed back into the Impala. Looking back up from his laptop, Sam looked to him with a curious eyebrow moving north.

"What?" Sam asked.

"Oh nothing Sammy, lets go find a bite, I need a burger and a beer." Dean said with a grin and a shake of his head, pulling out of the lot and heading on out to the other end of town.

* * *

The bar and grill heralded itself as having the best steak in town, a life on the road had Dean going for the safer option of a burger and fries and a feeling of pity hearing some fella with tourist written all over him ordering the steak. With the waitress setting his beer down, he gave her a smile that was returned in short order. Taking a long, thirsty sip he looked around had to wonder what the hell was going on in the town again.

"There a softball league or something going on?" Dean asked of Sam.

"What do you mean?" Sam asked with a glance.

"Whole lotta chicks with Team shirts." Dean remarked.

"Oh no..." Sam said taking a closer look.

"What, wait...oh no..." Dean looked suddenly fearful as he had a closer look at the shirts in the dim light.

Team Dean and Team Sam littered the shirts, familiar books spotted poking out of bags. Massaging his temples and hiding his face, Dean scanned the crowd looking fearful. Sam had closed his laptop, his research on the case put aside to try and catch the attention of the waitress between pulling out some cash to get their order to go.

"You see her?" Sam asked as they started towards the Impala.

"No...wait..." Dean whispered, grabbing Sam by the arm to duck behind a bush.

Swearing together, any escape had been cut off with the gaggle of girls taking pictures of the Impala and being so very critical of it. Fans, possible stalkers, had descended on the very town they were in to work a case, and they had only just now realized it.

"I guess we're walking." Sam said with a glance for the quickest retreat.

"I just waxed her." Dean bemoaned looking at some girls running their hands over his baby.

Three impromptu photo ops with other _cosplayers_, some temporary hearing loss, and one too many pinched butts later Dean and Sam found each other staring into their beers. Breathing a sigh of relief having found a bar free of fans even if it only had two choices on tap, Bud and Bud Light, Sam got back to his laptop.

"Look at this." Sam said spinning the laptop around for Dean to see.

"You're kidding me..." Dean groaned.

"At least we don't have to worry about running into Becky." Sam said.

"Another convention? Whoa, I didn't know they took cat fights online..." Dean said after stumbling into the convention's website forum.

"It's called flaming...uh, never mind." Sam said.

"Okay, so we got a case and a town full of girls that think we're playing dress up, great..." Dean grumbled.

"Alright, back to business. We got what, three Jane Doe's?" Dean asked.

"One's been identified it seems, a local waitress." Sam related after having checked up the local paper's website.

"Alright, well...we'll hit the sheriff up tomorrow, morgue, and next of kin." Dean said before taking a sip of his beer.

"Find out if we got a big bad." Sam added.

"So..." Dean said.

"The Impala?" Sam asked reading his brother's mind.

* * *

Five minutes later after a trip back to the convention website, Sam found the opening they would need. Finishing their round and heading back across town, the Impala sat alone with hand prints on the windows and several notes under the wiper blades. Dean looked heartbroken, Sam just plucking the notes out to see so many compliments and even a phone number.

"So you're sure they're all at some...what was it?" Dean asked warily with a glance cast around.

"In character...uh...burlesque show." Sam said with a cough.

"And you're sure it's just dudes..." Dean asked.

"I'm sure." Sam replied with a straight face.

"Okay, lets get outta here." Dean said.

Finding his keys, Dean had them in hand ready to get the night over with when he heard the door to the bar and grill open, Sam across from him looking past him to just rest his head against the roof in defeat.

"What?" Dean asked with a look over his shoulder.

Standing there with a smartphone in hand raised to snap their photo, a girl stood in a yellow hoodie with overly large pink headphones over her ears and a syrupy red drink in hand. The flash blinded him for a moment, blinking the stars away to glare at her. He recognized her instantly, and while not as bad as Becky, she could be a pain in the ass when she wanted to be one.

"I thought I recognized that car!" The girl cried with a squeal, racing up to stop before them.

"What the hell is that?" Dean asked pointing to the drink.

"Raspberry Strawberry Smoothie, want a sip?" The girl asked as she offered it.

"Promise?" Dean asked leveling her with a look.

"Oh fine, maybe some moo cow, but like seriously you know I'm not nomming anything that talks." The girl said.

"Dammit Jubilee, vampires aren't supposed to be perky." Dean growled.

"Guess that makes me special huh? Did the whole seven stages, got off the juice, hit up the support group scene. I still talk to my sponsor, now I'm just taking some me time. See?" Jubilee said after lifting up her hoodie to show the T-shirt underneath.

As conflicted as he was just then, Dean had to throw a smug look over to Sam who just had been watching the whole thing in silence.

"Team Dean! I even got bobble heads, I was totally gonna hit up that show but I just had to know if it was really you guys." Jubilee said cheerfully.

"So you're here for the convention?" Sam asked from past the car.

"Yep, I got hooked on the books and then the fanfiction. Uh...you should read what they write about you two." Jubilee said after a sip of her smoothie.

"Thanks, I'll...pass." Sam said sounding awkward.

"So like, you guys working a case? Whatever it was, it wasn't me, promise. If you need a hand lemme know." Jubilee rambled.

"Uh, sure." Sam said with a pointed look to Dean.

"Alright, you go represent Team Dean. You see anything you call us alright?" Dean said staring down Jubilee.

"You blocked me." Jubilee pouted.

"Well call Bobby." Dean replied.

"Phone tag, gotcha. Okay...I'll let you guys get to it, I need me some Wincest, that Sam look alike was hot. I hope I didn't miss it. See ya!" Jubilee said before vanishing in a burst of vampiric speed.

Climbing into the Impala, Dean looked to Sam who just looked as disturbed as him by the whole situation. Bringing the car to life and listening to her purr, Dean looked back to Sam.

"So the guy who turned her is dead, right?" Dean asked.

"That's what I heard." Sam replied.

"God dammit, every time I see her I just want to take a chainsaw to that guy's neck." Dean grumbled.

Pulling out, Dean felt a smile tugging at his lips thinking of the treat Sam had waiting for him back at the Bed and Breakfast. If he had to stay at one, he was damn sure going to make sure he got the bed, even if he had to remind Sam who was the older brother, right down to a noogie.

* * *

_Author's Note : Been meaning to have some fun with a crossover of this likes for a while, hope you all enjoy._


	2. Chapter 2

Marvel owns the X-men, Supernatural was created by Eric Kripke, no profit is to be made from this work.

Working on his steak and eggs between gulps of his coffee, Dean couldn't fight the grin every time he looked across the table to Sam. With his hair still ragged and sallow eyes, Sam glared back with a death grip on his mug of coffee.

"What's the matter Sammy? Didn't sleep well?" Dean asked, reaching for the tabasco sauce for his eggs.

"The mattress had a leak..." Sam replied in a hoarse voice.

Chuckling, Dean got back to working on his steak savoring every bite. It was time to get working the case, but they had to figure out just the right approach to take. Setting his mug down, Sam gave a wave to the waitress for a refill and got back to his laptop.

"There haven't been any details released, I think we should have a look at the victims first, try and get a feel for what it might be." Sam said, going quiet as the waitress came by with the pot of coffee.

"So? FBI?" Dean asked.

"I have the name of the Coroner, could always do the 'He's looking for you and looks mad' ploy." Sam countered.

Holding out his fist, Dean looked to Sam in challenge, Sam joining him. Shaking their fists together three times they threw, Dean swearing as his paper was cut by Sam's scissors.

"Alright, well, we'll head on over and then try FBI over at the Sheriff and next of kin." Dean remarked, swiping a piece of steak along his plate before a bite.

"I'll see if Bobby can call ahead to the Sheriff, that way he's expecting to see us so we can sell it." Sam said, finding his phone and excusing himself to step out of the diner.

With the last bite of his eggs, Dean paid the bill and met Sam outside listening to him talking to Bobby. Spinning his keys on a finger, he was ready to get this hunt rolling, the previous night leaving him more than ready to head on outta town before they ran into any more fans of those damn books Chuck had written.

"Okay, Bobby said he's going to make a call. Lets head on over to the morgue." Sam said.

Driving through town, the fangirls were already out in full force with photos snapped as they passed by and by the sounds of it heated discussion over the authenticity of their portrayal. Sinking down in their seats, the pair did their best to keep a low profile that seemed denied them this case.

"Oh that is just so wrong...we're brothers for crying out loud." Dean growled spotting a photo op of Wincest.

Sam gave an awkward cough and distracted himself reaching for the radio to try and find an interesting local station. Finally coming up to the morgue, Sam stared in incomprehension at what he was seeing while Dean just gripped the wheel with his knuckles white.

"What the hell is going on?" Dean asked spotting so many people milling around the back of the local funeral home that served the towns mortuary needs.

"I don't believe this." Sam groaned.

"What?" Dean asked.

"I think they're Larping." Sam explained, Dean looking confused.

"Uh...playing make believe." Sam explained again as he figured his brother would understand.

"Oh that's just great, now how are we supposed to get in?" Dean growled.

Sam looked through the crowd, momentarily distracted by a pair of girls dressed so very familiar. Dean followed his gaze and tilted his head, clearly admiring the view even if he found himself a little confused. Opening his mouth to ask Sam seemed to read his mind.

"Rule 63..." Sam said simply.

"Okay...whatever that is I can get behind that kind of Wincest." Dean said with a grin, remembering the words of a certain vampire the night before.

Looking at the scene from their slouched place in their car hidden behind a delivery truck, Sam's eyes with bright with inspiration. Looking over to his brother who had his head tilted still clearly admiring the rule 63 pair, Sam smacked him in the back of his head.

"Ow!" Dean cried.

"I got an idea but you might not like it." Sam said.

"Let me hear it." Dean asked.

"We might look a little more official if we have a dead body with us..." Sam started, watching his brother to see if he had caught on.

"Where are we gonna get a dead body?" Dean asked, Sam just staying tight lipped as his eyebrows raised for emphasis, Dean's eyes going wide for a different reason.

"Oh no. No way." Dean protested.

"You got a better idea?" Sam asked.

* * *

Dressed in scrubs with the fake medical badges on their pockets, Sam walked next to Dean as he pushed a gurney down the hall with a sheet draped across it, the silhouette beneath it showing the figure of the corpse that lay there.

"You're right...I hate this plan." Dean whispered harshly.

"Well if you had a better idea..." Sam whispered back.

"Hurry up, it's drafty under here." Jubilee whispered between them.

"Shut up, corpses don't talk." Dean hissed.

"When I said if you needed help..." Jubilee groused.

"Shh, someone's up ahead." Sam whispered before throwing on his best game face.

The man coming out of the room marked morgue looked over worked and sleep deprived, a cup of coffee in one hand and a clipboard in the other. Spotting the brothers coming down the hall he looked up a bit more attentive, waiting for them to stop next to him.

"Oh, don't tell me..." The man said with a touch of sadness in his voice.

"Jane Doe." Dean said.

"I told you not to tell me..." The man said with a shake of his head, raising the sheet to look down to the corpse that lay there.

"Poor thing, she was cute too." The man said with the sheet fluttering as sudden draft kicked up.

Dean and Sam both went wide eyed, having had Jubilee disrobe in private for her performance. Snatching the sheet Sam threw it back down, the man looking up at him in surprise.

"I don't recognize you two, you must be new. Oh was this your first one?" The man asked with a with a sad sigh, "Don't worry, I know it sounds harsh but it does get easier. Just put her with the others."

Watching him walk off, together the brothers Winchester pushed the gurney through the doors and waited one long moment until the sound of footsteps left the hall. Suddenly the sheet was torn free, an irate vampire glaring up at them with her hands across her chest modestly.

"You two...so...owe me for this, hurry up! I'm freezing my butt off here!" Jubilee hissed.

"Alright, alright. Keep your pants on." Dean said with a knowing laugh, Sam just rolling his eyes.

"Okay...this should be the waitress." Sam said after looking at the names, pulling open one of the doors.

Slipping back the sheet, the woman hardly more than thirty lay still and pale on the metal slab. Tilting her head back with a discerning eye of her neck they found nothing there, opening her mouth next for any sign of witchcraft or dark sorcery. Looking up, they threw lots, Dean swearing again as Sam beat him in another round of Rock Paper Scissors.

"Fine, while I look south of the neck you go check the two Jane Does." Dean growled.

"Okay." Sam said as he found the first of the other two victims.

With obvious discomfort he started to inspect the body for any of the telltale signs of death that could place the blame on a Big Bad. With no sign yet Dean took notice of a tattoo on the woman's hip, one he himself had on his chest, one that had been mentioned in the books of the Prophet Chuck.

"Uh...Sam?" Dean asked only for his brother to call him in kind.

"Don't tell me." Sam said after.

"What do you have?" Dean asked instead.

Looking over, he noticed on the first of the Jane Doe's a likeness of himself as portrayed by the novels. Showing the tattoo he had found himself, the pair raced over to the third victim to find, after a bit of trouble, Team Sam written in a flowing script on her lower back.

"Someone's killing the fangirls?" Dean asked.

Looking for further signs of death, they found it all in the same place after a time, two puncture marks right at the ankle of each victim.

"Great, we got a fang with a foot fetish killing fangirls!" Dean swore.

"Say that three times fast." Jubilee called from her gurney attempting a moment of levity.

"Shh, I think someone's coming." Sam said, spotting Jubilee quickly resuming her role as a corpse again.

Quickly trying to cover the victims back up, Sam and Dean turned around attempting to look academic as the man they had seen before came back in with a stack of paperwork and a fresh cup of coffee. Looking at them, he showed the first signs of outrage as he paced up quickly.

"What are you two doing? I don't remember seeing any paperwork about further autopsies." The man asked of them.

"Uh...well, you see..." Dean stumbled.

"Doctor Kinsella signed off on it." Sam said weakly.

"I'm Doctor Kinsella." The good doctor said loudly holding up his own medical id, "You're more of those damn people from that convention aren't you! I'm going to call the Sheriff."

Looking to another trying to figure out how to remedy the situation they had slipped into as Doctor Kinsella stalked off to the phone, a sudden thump drew them back. The sight of Jubilee's sudden revival right out of a classic horror movie left them a moment to breath, the good doctor having fainted at the sight. With her back to them, they both gave her a moment as they turned and coughed, waiting for her to wrap the sheet about herself.

"Owe. Me." Jubilee hissed as she traipsed up to them.

"Thanks...uh...you sure you haven't fallen off the wag...aaaaowwww!" Dean started to ask only to be slapped hard by the petite vampire.

"Lets get out of here before he wakes up." Sam said, already paying proper respect to the victims before closing shut the doors.

* * *

A half hour and a pit stop at a gas station for Jubilee to dress, the trio found another sitting out on a bench looking at the crowd of fans roaming the small town. Two coffees and a smoothie free of any moo cow beyond yogurt between them, Dean sat in quiet awe of the antics of the fans. Beside him Sam sat on the phone with Bobby, no good news to be heard if the gruff voice carrying was any indication.

"What is it with these conventions always attracting some kind of big bad, first it's a ghost and now it's a fang." Dean asked in sheer disbelief.

"Ghosts creep me out." Jubilee said with a sip of her smoothie.

"Wait, you're a vampire afraid of ghosts?" Dean asked with a laugh.

"I didn't say I was afraid, they just creep me out. That and zombies, course at least I get to cut loose on them." Jubilee replied.

Hanging up his phone, Sam pocketed it and took a sip of his coffee while staring at the milling crowds that had just been painted as potential victims.

"Bobby didn't have any luck with the Sheriff." Sam related.

"What happened?" Dean asked.

"More Larpers apparently. The Sheriff as Bobby tells me, said the next person who calls him pulling that line is getting the FBI called on them." Sam said.

"Great." Dean growled.

"Yeah...the very people we're trying to protect are making it harder to do that." Sam added in a touch of irony.

"So how are we gonna find the fang?" Jubilee asked, looking between the pair.

"We?" Dean asked.

"What? You thought this was a one time thing, you ask for help you get it. More so when I got some one ganking my people." Jubilee replied.

"You mean vampires or fans?" Sam asked, just to clear up the point only to earn a glare.

"Isn't that hypocritical, or is that an oxymoron? Sam, you're the brainiac, what do I mean?" Dean asked.

Sighing, Sam threw his head back and let out a groan, his eyes closed in frustration. Shrugging, Dean went back to the last of his coffee while Jubilee beside him kicked her feet sipping on her smoothie and staring out into the crowds wandering through the street. Sam looked up in clear inspiration again, Dean looking warily to his brother.

"I guess we'll just have to get someone to go start asking questions..." Sam began.

"They're probably just gonna think you're Larping." Jubilee replied, noisily seeking the last of her smoothie.

"Who said anything abut us?" Dean asked with a grin, Jubilee looking between the two to see the look they shared.

"Dammit, I walked right into that!" Jubilee hissed, leaping to her feet to skip through traffic and slip into the crowd.

"So..." Dean asked after the petite vampire had vanished amidst the crowd.

"What?" Sam asked.

"Did you notice that tattoo she had?" Dean asked thinking back to the view afforded them briefly in the morgue.

"Ugh...can we just focus on the job." Sam said climbing to his feet.

"I'm just saying, that's two nothing so far." Dean looking smug again, having noticed a chibi of himself.

"Shouldn't it be Two One?" Sam asked.

"She only said the Sam look alike was hot, two nothing." Dean stated.

"I can't believe we're having this discussion. Besides, I thought you didn't like her." Sam asked pointedly.

"I never said that, I said every time I see her I want to gank the fang that turned her. At least she's not clingy and creepy like the one that has the hots for you, what was it? Samlicker81?" Dean carried on with a grin.

Shaking his head, Sam walked off leaving his brother behind, Dean chuckling to himself having found a way to entertain himself. Spotting another group of fans they resigned themselves to the banter and questions asked, photos taken and smoldering looks of girls who thought they were just as interested in the works of the Prophet Chuck as they.


	3. Chapter 3

_Marvel owns the X-men, Supernatural was created by Eric Kripke, no profit is to be made from this work. _

* * *

Sam watched from a bench just left to shake his head in disbelief, Dean out by the Impala posing with girls for five bucks a pop. Taking a sip of what tried to pass itself off as a latte, he was forced to spit it back and let it tumble with a thud in the trash next to him. Scanning the website forum of the convention for any possible clues or leads, it was a painful endeavour picking through so much chaff. As still uncomfortable he was with having fangirls, he knew he owed it to a couple of them to find out just who they were and extract some justice for their senseless deaths.

Spotting a flash of yellow hop over the bench to land down beside him, Sam looked to find Jubilee sitting there looking grumpy. Reaching in her mouth with a questing finger running under her lips she pulled out what looked like a false set of teeth, surprisingly good fakes of vampire teeth as he knew them.

"Wait...did you...cosplay being a vampire?" Sam asked of her.

"If I hear one more 'I'd stake that'..." Jubilee hissed.

"Sorry...uh, did you find out anything?" Sam asked pushing ahead.

"Every pervy pick up line there is, and that your fangirls are very cliquey when they find out you're a Team Dean girl. No one seems to know anything about any missing con goers, sorry. Struck out." Jubilee explained.

"It's okay, thanks. I called Bobby and explained what's going on to see if he could help, but he's already on his way anyway. He wants a crack at that Sheriff in person." Sam said, noticing Jubilee looking off with her head tilted.

"Is he...?" Jubilee asked.

"Y...eah." Sam replied with a pause after another glance at his brother.

"Here," Sam said handing off some cash, "Go get a couple smoothies for us and a soda for Dean."

"Sure, thanks!" Jubilee said popping up to hug Sam.

Watching the gaggle of girls walking off looking happy and chatting, Sam saw Dean finally coming back counting out the cash and pausing to look at one with a smug smile only to flip it over and show another phone number. Sam levelled him with a look that just earned him a shrug, Dean sitting down on the bench and throwing his arms along the back.

"Any luck?" Dean asked.

"Nope, Jubilee struck out too. I sent her for some drinks." Sam replied.

"Let me guess, smoothie? What's up with that?" Dean asked.

"Probably a lot like a smoker and gum." Sam explained to see Dean look thoughtful.

"Wait...you mean, she's sucking on those because...?" Dean asked.

"Maybe." Sam replied sounding uninterested.

"That is just creepy, damn...I didn't need that image..." Dean growled.

"What?" Sam asked.

"You know...the straw...like a skeeter..." Dean explained the vision he'd just seen.

"Dammit Dean..." Sam cried out in dismay having picked up the meme.

"Misery Sammy boy, it loves company." Dean said with a smirk, feeling better then.

Coming back with two smoothies and a soda clutched in her hands Jubilee held them out, Sam beating Dean to the soda for a long sip. Dean took the smoothie, eyeing it for a moment before taking a sip, looking impressed and shrugging.

"Hey, these ain't half bad." Dean said as Jubilee settled in between the two brothers.

Sitting in silence just sipping on their drinks, Dean noticed the discarded teeth sitting on the bench and raised them up in question.

"What the hell are these?" Dean asked.

"Fangs...here I thought I coulda honestly just nommed on someone and no one would bat an eye, but nope, they're too geeky for that." Jubilee explained to Dean.

Sam looked to the pair, a sudden spark of insight in his eyes. Dean sat wiping off the fangs to push them up under his own lips to make a face, while Jubilee just started tapping at her phone looking bored.

"Sorry, what did you just say?" Sam asked politely of Jubilee.

"Uh...they're too geeky so I had to buy fake fangs?" Jubilee asked without looking away from her phone.

"No...before that..." Sam asked.

"Woulda thought I coulda just nommed someone free and clear, not that I roll that way." Jubilee said.

Dean looked sharply to his brother, Sam just nodding in agreement as Jubilee just looked between them curious.

"Oh that's just mean." Dean said.

"But clever." Sam relented.

"What?" Jubilee asked.

"It's using the con as a cover..." Sam explained, Jubilee catching up and looking just as shocked as both.

"Oh that is sparkly vampire evil." Jubilee growled.

"This just gets better and better." Dean said, to spit out the fake fangs in disgust.

* * *

Author's Note : So sorry for the teeny tiny update, but I felt this was some more plot and giggles for you all who are enjoying it :) Thanks to Jeannie and death! Uh...not deep dish loving death, but story loving death, though if you love a deep dish then uh...well, whatev, suddenly I want me some deep dish *whine*


	4. Chapter 4

Marvel owns the X-men, Supernatural was created by Eric Kripke, no profit is to be made from this work.

Meeting outside of town at some truck stop, Sam and Dean walked up with their 'entirely too perky to be a fang' protege texting away on her smartphone listening to some bass thumping music with her oversized pink headphones. Dean swore he'd have to talk to Sam about this 'digitizing' his 'music library' just to 'upload' some onto her phone to make sure she was listening to the classics. Leave it to Sam to find a way to suck the fun out of rock and roll with all his geek talk.

"Alright, this is where Bobby said he'd meet us." Sam said walking in and finding a booth.

"Let me guess, tomato juice?" Dean asked to Jubilee.

"Ew, that's way groady. Veggies for breakfast, check please. I'll have some O J, extra pulp, and some waffles with extra syrup." Jubilee said after a momentary gag.

"What? No bacon?" Dean asked.

"I'll just steal some of yours as long as it ain't covered in syrup, between you and me bacon shouldn't be sweet." Jubilee huffed, kicking back on her side of the truck stop booth.

"You touch my bacon and I'll stake you." Dean threatened.

"Innuendo much? Team Dean remember, if ya wanna 'stake' me ya just gotta ask." Jubilee teased, grinning hugely at his discomfort.

"I can't wait for Bobby to get here so I have someone to talk to." Sam bemoaned, suffering the combined looks of his brother and a Californian vampire.

Somewhere between ordering a 'glass of bacon' that Sam felt was wholly an American invention that Dean was entirely too proud of, Bobby joined them sitting down next to Jubilee who was humming to some Dubstep which didn't translate well.

"I'm so glad you're here Bobby." Sam said, his relief evident as he slumped down at his side of the booth.

"You're both damn lucky I'm here, and her for that matter." Bobby said with a thumb towards the oblivious Jubilee.

"Her? Why her?" Dean asked, looking between Bobby and the pulse challenged person.

"Because she's the perfect thing I need to have another run at that pissant Sheriff and get both of you into evidence." Bobby explained, greeting the waitress with a huge grin and making his order.

"Do we want to know?" Sam asked.

"Just git yer suits pressed and ready for when I phone you two idjits, and don't be surprised if the Sheriff is expectin' ya to walk on water by he time I'm done." Bobby growled, his mood shifting as the waitress came back to pour him a piping cup of coffee.

"O...kay...but what does she have to do with it?" Dean asked, pointing to Jubilee who looked busy texting away.

"Just watch and learn boys." Bobby said enjoying a sip of his coffee.

-=+=–=+=–=+=–=+=–=+=-

"I don't care if he's pinching a loaf as we speak you get this pissant front and centre this instant!" Bobby yelled stalking into the police station flashing his badge for all its worth.

Rushing out, the Sheriff looked to the furious man dressed in a beige overcoat with a teenaged girl looking bored behind him. Stalking off to him he felt a cold shot of piss find its way to his heart seeing the very name he recalled from a telephone conversation earlier, SAC Roberts, thinking him another of the countless other convention nuts that had been making his life a living nightmare for the duration of this 'convention' as they called it.

"Sheriff Martin sir, I...I must apologize for my..." Martin said, wondering if his face was as pale as he thought it was just then.

"I don't give a shit!" Bobby roared, turning to Jubilee then.

"Sorry Pumpkin, you didn't hear that." Bobby added, turning his fury back onto the Sheriff.

"Sir?" Martin asked looking from the 'FBI' Special Agent In Charge to the teenaged girl dressed just as any of the convention goers complete in one of the Team shirts.

"I only get so much time to spend with my daughter each year..." Bobby started.

"Daughter?" Martin asked again, looking from the Asian teenager to the clearly Caucasian FBI Agent.

"She's adopted ya idjit!" Bobby roared after taking Jubilee's ears in hand as if to muffle his outburst.

"Yes sir, sorry sir!" The Sheriff cried, looking from to the rest of his deputies watching the show and swearing to find a shitty busywork job for all of them once this was over with.

Lead into the office and closing the door behind them, Sheriff Martin took to closing the blinds and turning on the radio just enough to drown out any idle chatter. Of course if SAC Roberts got to yelling again everything would be for naught so he just had to grin and bear it while eating a plate full of steaming government bullshit. The Feds loved poking their noses in business that didn't concern them, taking over investigations once all the heavy lifting had been done. Death and Taxes had nothing on the FBI he figured as far as the constants in life went.

"Baby, can you listen to some of that devil music you like?" Bobby asked of Jubilee.

"I don't do rock Dad." Jubilee bemoaned, though still putting her earbuds in and cranking some Dubstep.

With the bass drowning out anything else of the conversation, Bobby turned to the Sheriff as his fatherly smile fell to a scowl that could have curdled milk. If the Sheriff had any piss left his heart might be filling a chill just then but as it was all he wanted to do was get the man out of his office and jurisdiction and put the name up on his list of People of Note to remember for future clusterfucks.

"Now I have my two agents in the field that were meant to take care of this whole mess for me while I was on vacation with my little girl only for them to call me up saying some Sheriff was getting in the way of their investigation. Now wouldn't I be surprised to find out that the Sheriff is in the same backwater town of some damn idjit convention my little girl wants to go to. That makes this Sheriff a very lucky man as the last time I had to rearrange my vacation my wife nearly served me divorce papers!" Bobby yelled with all the indigent rage of a workaholic having suffered one too many late nights that threatened his marriage.

"I'm sorry sir, if you tell me these Agents names then I will promise to be the utmost picture of assistance in your investigation." Sheriff Martin said tightly, wondering just why anyone in law enforcement with any ambition would ever saddle themselves with a marriage to wreck.

"Agents Turner and Bachman." Bobby said flatly.

"Pardon?" Sheriff Martin asked with a cough.

"Did I stutter boy!" Bobby roared.

"No sir, it's just...Bachman Turner...sir..." Sheriff Martin said with only a knot of panic filling his stomach at the uncomprehending look Bobby threw him.

"It's Turner and Bachman ya idjit! You're to assist them in any way and if I have to be interrupted on my vacation any further then I plan on getting very creative in finding just how to get the bureau interested in any new cases that might fall under Federal Jurisdiction. Are we clear!" Bobby roared.

"Crystal sir!" Martin cried, snapping a salute earned from his years before when he had enlisted in the reserves.

"Good, I don't want to see you anymore while I'm here unless I'm caught speeding or getting a parking ticket, are we clear?" Bobby asked, a quick nod given.

Putting a hand on Jubilee he guided her out of the office and back to his classic Chevelle. The anger had been real given what had been on the line but even still he did feel a touch bad for the man, shrugging off the persona and turning to the vampire that had she been anyone else he'd be likely to stake. Passing over her phone and pulling her earbuds free, he looked to the pictures she had taken during the dog and pony show he had put on.

"Sam will love these, maybe we can start piecing together anything else that stinks of a Fang in this neck o' the woods that ain't partial to smoothies." Bobby said as he scrolled through the pictures.

"So..." Jubilee said admiring the car.

"Yes?" Bobby asked.

"Guess that means you're on the hook to take me to the convention now." Jubilee grinned.

"Shit." Bobby said after a long pause as the realization struck him just what his bluster in there had cost him.

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Author's Note : Sorry for taking so long to get an update out. Just a shortie but I hope you enjoy. I'll try and get this story going and finished up as I already have an idea for a sequel that should be a lot of fun ;) Toodles!


	5. Chapter 5

Marvel owns the X-men, Supernatural was created by Eric Kripke, no profit is to be made from this work.

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"Is that...?" Dean asked smiling the way someone did as they fought not to laugh.

"Just say it." Bobby growled, the trio of hunters and what might otherwise be considered prey sitting at a booth in town waiting for their orders.

"A Bobby...Bobblehead?" Dean asked with a pause for emphasis.

"Unless you want me to shove it up your as..." Bobby started ready for a good dig into Dean.

"Arse?" Jubilee cut in innocently.

"You can stop playin' my daughter now." Bobby grumbled.

"Why, it's fun? You're like my own Substitute Wolvie, all the grump but half the berserker rage." Jubilee huffed in protest.

"What's a Wolvie?" Dean asked.

"A false hit, except that time he had his soul sent to hell and had demons riding him hellbent for leather ganking any of his friends they could get their hands on. You two should be pen pals..." Bobby growled to Dean.

"Oh my god you know Wolvie?" Jubilee asked eagerly to Bobby who had just dig his grave a little deeper.

"We may have...worked together on a few cases." Bobby admitted reluctantly.

"Do you know Blade?" Jubilee asked anew.

The rolled eyes and heaved sighs as they tried to forget any knowledge of Blade spoke volumes, Blade the kind of man that made a few 'enthusiastic' hunters they knew seem downright normal and mellow. Any further shop talk was put on hold as two burger platters, one soup of the day, and one shrimp cocktail came up.

"I still think if they call it a cocktail there should be booze involved." Dean said with a nod to Jubilee dipping her shrimp to munch away on.

"Would you want to see her drunk?" Sam asked with a nod to Jubilee.

"Can she even get drunk?" Dean asked all the while eyeing the meaty patty between the gorgeous poppy seed bun with all the trimmings.

"I'm only eighteen so I wouldn't know, duh. But let me tell you this, you see a hayseed metamorph get drunk off some vodka the boys snuck in and that has you figuring there's a drinking age for a reason." Jubilee explained as she recalled a time at the Massachusetts branch of Xavier's that had been a cautionary tail.

"I'm gonna pretend I know what you're talking about and just nod, shut up and eat my burger." Dean conceded.

"So, moving on, we're good with the Sheriff now?" Sam asked getting down to business.

"Just don't go pressin' yer luck. Get in, get what we need, get out." Bobby grumbled, cutting his burger into quarters with a knife and fork.

"What are you doing?" Dean asked, the remainder of his burger raised for another bite until he saw something that made no sense to him.

"Eating my burger." Bobby said flatly.

"Who the heck eats a burger like that?" Dean asked with a laugh looking to Sam for backup, the 'Soup of the Day' busy elsewhere blowing on his spoon.

"The same person who threatened to shove a bobblehead up your...butt, that's now got a knife and fork in hand." Bobby said with a word on the tip of his tongue until he looked to the petite vampire next to him.

"Man, what's got a bug up your...butt?" Dean chuckled, a pause for his poking of fun at Bobby's bad mood.

"The fact that we're at an all you can eat buffet for a fang..." Bobby growled under his breath.

"Cool, does that mean you guys are paying?" Jubilee asked impishly to indulge in another shrimp.

Walking right into it and feeling like they had earned some bad karma somewhere, lunch found itself in the company of another shrimp cocktail, a slice of cheesecake and a five dollar milkshake that didn't have any bourbon or dancing involved. Heading out into the parking lot to find the Impala thronged once again, Bobby and Jubilee shared a look before rushing off to Bobby's Chevelle that while earning admiring looks wasn't the centerpiece of a photo shoot.

"So..." Jubilee said sitting with Bobby.

"So?" Bobby asked, pulling out of the parking lot not caring which way he was going.

Jubilee went quiet for a moment as she placed the Bobby Bobblehead in a place of honour on the dash, the figurine capturing his essence rather well from the word of the Book of Chuck. Satisfied, she turned to look back to Bobby who was busy glaring at traffic.

"When we have this case all over...can you tell me some stories about you and Wolvie?" Jubilee asked quietly.

Looking to her curiously and throwing a glance back to the road to stop at a red, Bobby saw in her all the shades of grey his world was painted with as the easy black and white answers were muddled and lost.

"Sure kid, lets get to work." Bobby promised, gunning the engine at the green.

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Author's Note : Just a little shortie, toodles.


End file.
